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Amanda Elsdon-Dew
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Joined: 10 Sep 2014
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Location: Ashtead, Surrey

PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 5:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

After the initial sadness of Brion's death, I thought we'd all moved on quite surprisingly quickly but now it is the things, as Ruth said, that trigger memories that make me sad again. Dinah is certainly appreciating getting lots of attention but throwing toys for her in the garden reminds me of how I had enjoyed watching both her and Brion interact as I threw toys for them both. It had taken quite some time to steady her down and reassure him so that one dog wouldn't 'snomp' the other if both raced for the same toy, but - precious memory - they had learnt, and one would either defer to the other, or they might even carry a toy between them. Funny, isn't it, when what might be normal for some dogs but took so much teaching for ours, ended up such an especial pleasure.
Dinah will still go and hide under a bush if I don't put a lead on her before going to the car but she is absolutely fine once in it now. Somehow going out in the car is linked in her mind with the morning when Brion 'vanished' and her mistress cried and cried because she hid under a bush when I tried to get her to come out with me that sad day.
Most silly, I find myself wanting, but not really wanting, to get another dog, although Dinah is clearly very happy on her own. My mother sent a birthday card to one of our sons with a picture of Pugs on it (we used to own a most delightful, still missed, Pug), which set off a perfect flurry of enquiries to Pug breeders. The rest of the family got really enthused but I can't, really, and, anyway, remembering how Dinah catches baby bunnies and then brings them to me, warm and limp, I don't think she would be at all suitable to help bring up a tiny bunny-sized Pug puppy!
It all just takes time and, as Brenda said, these Briards have such a huge place in our hearts that it takes some getting over.
Hope you are not missing Kari-Ann too dreadfully as I type.
Amanda

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Ruth Richardson
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You're bound to be finding it hard. I can still cry for my first briard, Oscar, never mind Hugo, and it's such early days for you, and for Brenda, and for Jean, to name but a few people suffering such a recent loss. I think you just must allow yourself to cry when you need to, as well as smile and laugh when you look back at his life. The memories do become less painful as time goes on, as you well know, having been through it before.
As for getting another dog, only you know whether that's right for you and Dinah, so I wouldn't rush into anything if you are not yet sure, but there are plenty of non-baby-bunny-like smaller dogs which could hold their own. A friend of mine has just got a puggle (pug/beagle cross) which is like a slightly bigger version of a pug! Dinah will also be grieving in her own doggy way, but the right companion could help her too.
You're bound to have days when things seem better, then others when grief takes a hold once again. I think you just have to go with it. Thinking of you.
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maxnick
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Joined: 16 Aug 2011
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2017 6:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Amanda, sometimes it takes longer that you expect. We only had Tao a short time, but my grieving for him seemed more intense than I would have thought.
I would just suddenly burst into tears at the memories.
We had had Sally our TT for 17 & a half years, I miss her dearly, but didn't grieve as much as I thought I would! Whether it has to do with other dogs in the household focusing our minds, I don't know.
Just cherish Dinah, until you feel you want another dog, but don't fret about it, you may decide you are happier with just her. x

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Maxine& Nick, Pastou & Lilas the Berger Picards. Always in our hearts, playing together now at Rainbow Bridge, Sally, Barney, Tao, Ina & Rummage.
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Brenda Wilkinson
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:10 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Grieving is something I think we all have to work through in our own way dogs too. I know when Vernon died Kari-Ann took months to adjust as it like Dinah it was the first time she had been an only dog having started her life as one of five. After 12months we got a 5 year old Yorky to keep her company but he had to be clever to weedle his way into her affections sharing her bed and bones. He now is missing her dispite having Elsa our 20 month old briard. He had no time for her when Kari was here but they are slowly getting a little closer even having little moments of play which he calls an end to when Elsa gets too much for him. All my dogs have displayed different behaviour when we have lost one if our furry friends and have adjusted given time. Amanda my advice would be don't rush into getting Dinah a four legged friend give her time to adjust it's early days yet.

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Amanda Elsdon-Dew
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Joined: 10 Sep 2014
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Location: Ashtead, Surrey

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 11:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks Brenda. Yes, I know that really. Dinah has now taken to lying in Brion's 'place' in our lower garden. Yesterday we had to kill a rat who was utterly determined to break into our hens' pen whatever we did, and that seems to have really affected Dinah, even though she wasn't there when the deed was done. She was really funny for half a day, tail down and just unhappy, until we worked out that this must be connected with the poor rat (how did she know?) so we let her out to sniff the remains of the rat and to check all around 'her' garden and all round the hens and their run, and she cheered up almost instantly. Amanda

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David T
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 3:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I know I said before that it took a good six months for Louis to get back to "normal" after Norbert passing. We are still continuing to see "improvements". About 3 weeks ago, Louis started to walk with his tail curled up instead of hanging limply and he has now discovered that he can wag it furiously! He no longer shows reticence in getting in the back of the Discovery ( Norbert used to lie diagonally in the back to stop Louis getting in and lying down.)

We have decided that now is the time to get a brother for him and are now just waiting. Seeing how he interacts with other dogs at his groomers and dog sitter, we think he will enjoy a puppy chum as much as Norbert enjoyed Louis.
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jenny
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PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2017 10:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

When we lost Rosie, very suddenly Poppy was totally lost. She lost a lot of weight and was so depressed it was nearly a vet trip. We are now 18mths on and whenever she see's a Golden Retriever goes flying over only to be disappointed and I can actually see her deflate. The problem is we cannot explain to them what and why it has happened. We certainly do not give dogs the credit they deserve.

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Zizou
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 10:10 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Zizou put himself in hospital when we lost our Rottie last year: he stopped eating and drinking. I thought I was going to lose two in a fortnight! He does better with another dog around; so we got him one. He picked her. I suppose it depends on each dog and each circumstance.

It helped me knowing he was happier.
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